Fitting into one's plan

I have been married since February 18, 2006. Ever since my first married day, I've been preparing myself, mentally and physically for a baby. I always knew I wanted to have children, regardless of how I am being influenced by my husband's unreadiness for children and through observation on why people have children.

I have been waiting eagerly and patiently for my husband to agree, as a family to start trying for a baby. To cut the story short, my husband finally agreed, much to my anticipation. It was such an overwhelming feeling to know that he has agreed to have kids. We will officially try for one in December this year.

I should have blogged earlier to share my journey in having my first baby, but I guess it's still not too late.

1. MENSTRUAL CYCLE

I have a pretty regular though not exactly accurate menstrual cycle. I may be late a couple of days or at worst I've experienced was 2 weeks late, but never earlier than 28 days. This led me to believe that my menstrual cycle is on average 30-35 days and not the archetypal 28 days. Hence, you can imagine, how hard it is to time the fertile period. However, over the last couple of months, my cycle has been predictable.

In September, we did try on the day I noticed the changes in my cervical mucus. To me, it was basically a hit or miss. Therefore, we weren't diligent in trying. Inside me, I was hoping that it would be a hit! As days passed, I thought I would be pregnant or perhaps my mind has been playing on me. Soon, as I was about to have my period, I had spotting, light and slightly brown, well not really brown, just not fresh red blood! I was thrilled.. and so I waited.. the next day came, so did my period! =( argh.. it was so disappointing!

In October, 2008 I had my period on the 26th. As I watched out for the fertile period ie the 14th day, I did notice that my cervical mucus was sticky and clear white in colour or as they say, it has the consistency of an egg white. I've thought of using an ovulation kit, but I was battling within myself. I wanted the baby to be 'God-given' if you know what I mean. Anyway, unfortunately, the environment wasn't ideal for making babies, hence we had to give it a miss that month. Oh well, December will be the month then.

November 24th, my period came. It was pretty accurate and early for once!
I used a web-based ovulation calculator to determine the fertility window, I thought we'd be alright for babymaking. My most fertile period is from 5-11th December, oh I would be giving too much away if I even say when we did our baby making, so you figure it out yourself, at your own discretion, please.

Days passed, I didn't feel anything, which of course is normal. But since yesterday, I've started feeling slight discomfort in my tummy. At one time, it was a sharp pain which didn't last very long. Then after dinner, the pain was just like before my period is due. My tummy or rather, lower tummy felt a slight warm feeling. I felt slightly weak just like when I am having my period.

This morning however, the pain subsided.

In my heart, I want to believe that I'm pregnant but I do not want to be disappointed.

My next step is to wait for some spotting, before my period is due again. Wish me all the best!

Whatever it is, I want to give praise to the Lord and I want to hold on to God's promise in our lives.