Sheer exhilaration

I was having mixed feelings all throughout the week. I don't even know what I was supposed to be feeling. Part of me wants to get pregnant, part of me was sceptical, part of me didn't want to put such high hopes and part of me was thrilled should I be pregnant and etc.. etc... etc....

I was waiting for my period to be due, which is TODAY in order to take a home pregnancy test. I was very hesitant and thought to myself, perhaps I should wait for another week. Because by then, I will know, I AM REALLY pregnant, because of all the things happening. Then again, something prompted me to test.

Apart from the most inherent sign being nauseous, I was also tired. I didn't sleep well at all last night, despite feeling absolutely sluggish lately at work and by the time I come home, I was all spent! This is very unlikely and I notice the changes in me. So last night, I had a dream. I dreamt that I tested for pregnancy and it was positive. In my dream, I was absolutely thrilled and overjoyed! When I woke up, I felt very encouraged, then again, my lack of faith prevailed. I doubted but I have asked the Lord to help me with my faith, as I needed His strength and courage.

Hence, I was still battling within myself, to test or not to test as I walked to the bathroom (which is 10 steps away) in the morning. Morning urine contains the highest amount of hCG hormone, so I thought, maybe I should just go ahead with it.

So, I took the test.. 15 or 20 seconds passed, I saw how the absorption was happening and it reached the negative line (darker red), no.. the positive line (pink) was before the negative line. If it's positive, shouldn't the pink line be showing now? Still nothing.. I felt an immediate discouragement, despair..it's alright, I said, praise the Lord.... then I read the instruction note again, it said to only start looking at the result between 3-10 minutes. Alright, let's just take a quick shower and see how it goes... it probably took me about 5 minutes but I think I lost count of the time.

As I stepped out of the shower, I took a look at the strip.. and this was what I saw..

My jaw literally dropped ! I cannot believe it, is this for real? Is it a true band or a false band? Could it have showed because of evaporation? I wish someone can confirm so I don't have to test another time. Pregnancy test kit is not really that cheap, you know? Oh.. I still was shocked although I have expected it.. still, this is unbelievable! This also proved that my symptoms corroborated with this pregnancy result.

I couldn't concentrate at work. I casually told my husband, and he as expected wanted me to double confirm it! It was also Christmas eve, and I was absolutely thrilled. This could be the best Christmas gift, EVER! I got home later (my boss actually let us off early) and I confirmed with my sister. She also said, it looks like it's positive. Surprisingly, no one believed that I may actually be PREGNANT!

Oh well, let's see how it goes for another week. I think we need time for reality to sink in. It's still unbelievable although not impossible that I AM pregnant.. gosh, I am PREGNANT! ok... I better not dwell in this, else I collapse in excitement!