My experience

Baby has just gone to sleep after crying almost the whole day. She can only manage cat naps in the afternoon, on her own. At each time, it's only 15 minutes or max 30 minutes. Then she wakes up and I offer her a feed, after which she starts crying, then I offer her the breast again in order to calm her down, to which she falls asleep again. The cycle keeps repeating and that's how the day passed. I know of most of the dos and dont's but in practical, it is extremely hard to follow.

Anyway, I'm sure we will catch up to baby's stage but I thought I'd share my birth experience with you. Days leading up to the birth was really filled with much anxiety. My poor mum had to wait an extra 10 days for the baby to arrive. She'd taken unpaid leave to be my confinement lady and if baby's late, it means my 1 month confinement days will be cut short.

Anyways, finally, the day came when I had to be induced. It was on the 9th of September, which was my birthday. We didn't celebrate my birthday at all because everyone was really just focusing on baby's arrival. I was getting impatient (since baby's supposed to arrive on the 1st of September) and the anticipation of the excruciating pain that I was about to experience was simply agonizing. It was like, waiting for punishment, you just don't know whether you can take the pain and the aftermath. Somehow, my heart was just not at peace. Finally, I had to surrender it all to the Lord, my fear, my wish, my worries.. I gave it all to the Lord. Amazingly, I experience such profound peace I've not felt for a long time now. It was then, I knew that I was ready for what come may.

We checked in at 8pm at the birthing suite. Mum and hubby were with me and we made ourselves comfortable in the 5-star like hospital. Hubby checked out the gadgets and especially the tv. Mum just sat around and always ready to be at my service, my best helper. We chit chatted and anticipated whatever's going to happen.

Finally, midwife induced me at about 10pm on the 9th. Mum stayed with me in the hospital whereas I told hubby to go home and take a rest, since it seems I wasn't going to push anytime soon. Midwife then told me to "try to get some sleep", I thought to myself, well okay, will do so to prepare for the "BIG DAY" the next day. The moment I closed my eyes, the pain started. It was 11.30pm. Mum was sleeping by then in a sofa bed next to me. I didn't want to wake her up, what was she going to do if I were to wake her up. So, I bit my tongue and just endured my first contraction.

Then the contraction (period like cramp) started and lasted all through the night. I remembered what the midwife told me, "Try to get some sleep".. I almost wanted to call her in and give her a piece of my mind, what sort of sleep did she mean? Then again, she did say "TRY!"..

Imagine my anguish all through the night. Obviously, I didn't sleep at all. The pain was initially 40 minutes apart. At about 3am, I felt something tickled down my bottom. I thought, hey finally my water break. I quickly went to the toilet and wore a pad. To my dismay, it was blood, all blood. I went back to bed and rested. The contraction then went to 30 minutes apart then 10 then 5 then 3 then 2mins. By almost 7am, I thought I couldn't take it anymore. I walked around the birthing suite and managed to have a conversation with the nurses around. I didn't expect them to show any empathy nor compassion at all because they see women in my state everyday.
When I told a nurse that I can feel the pain like every 2 minutes, she said good, but I'm obviously not even close to the real pain since I am still smiling at her!! I wish I can ask her to
shut up!'. Haha, you can try to imagine the state I was in at that time to feel that way.

Hubby came back to the hospital at 6am to accompany me. Guess, he must be excited that he couldn't sleep too. Finally, my OBG came in at 7am. He said he was going to break the water bag. It was another nightmare too!! I'm not going to explain how he did it, but he just used his hands. So, there you go, let your imagination go wild. It felt like assault to me!! Hubby had to hold my hands. When the OBG broke the water, a big gush of water came out, but surprisingly, I feel like there's not much water. That's why my tummy wasn't huge.

Then OBG told me, I was only 2cm dilated. (Dem after the whole night, I was only 2cm dilated????!!!). Contraction then began to be more and more painful, unlike the night's menstrual cramp. This is like, cramp coupled with backache and you won't even be able to stand although it's better to stand and walk around than lie still. Because I was exhausted from lack of sleep, I couldn't stand the pain. I felt like fainting everytime contraction came.

Hubby asked me to consider epidural, but I thought I was TOUGH!!! (yeah right!!). So I said to him, let's see when the next time doc comes in to check how dilated I am. If the rate is fast, then I might go all natural. But if the dilation rate is slow,then blardy yes, bring on the EPIDURAL!!!

So I endured for 3 hours, did everything I could to stand the pain, but trust me, nothing you do could ease the pain. It just hits you harder each time. I was absolutely exhausted and felt I could just doze off or faint or just collapse and die. Some women I know would sob and cry at this point. I don't understand, I felt anger and frustration rather, than crying.

Finally, my OBG appeared at 10am and checked on me, guess what?? I was only 3 cm dilated!!! Man, for 3 hours, only 1 cm extra??? How long will it be then to wait for 10cm dilated?? That's when I decided to go for epidural. It was the best decision I've ever made. The anesthetist was called in, more equipments were pushed into the room. I was told to curl up and lie on my side. The anesthetist started doing his stuff with hubby beside me, holding my hands all the time. I couldn't see what the anesthetist was doing, but the needle insertion was nothing compared to the pain was already bearing.

I was confined to the bed as the midwife monitored baby's heartrate the whole time. There were a few incident where baby's heartrate just went below 50. That was scary.

Anyway, fastforward, not only did I get to rest a little, but contraction and dilation was faster too. By 12-1 noon, I was already about 6-7 cm dilated. Then finally, at about 3.30pm, doc told me the good news, I was fully dilated and ready to push!

Then again, my whole leg and bottom half were numb. How do I push?? How will I know if I was pushing correctly? ahh... thanks to all the kegel exercises, I've practiced my pushing actually by practicing on how to contract my pelvic floor muscle. So, even when I was numb, I knew that it would have to be my pelvic floor that I was pushing.

So, baby came out pretty fast and easy within 3 contractions and 3 pushes each. At first I thought OBG was gonna turn off or reduce the anesthetic but he didn't. So even when he sewn me up, I felt absolutely nothing!!! How wonderful was that???

Oh, it was amazing and overwhelming when finally baby came out and was placed on me. I couldn't believe my eyes. I was all watery and in disbelief and ...the feeling was just beyond description. Even Andrew was stunned by the very sight of our baby.Best thing was, he carried a baby for the first time and baby Ariel immediately was soothed when he carried her. She didn't cry at all after she was placed in his hands. It was an amazing feeling.

The next few days at the hospital was probably one of the best experience for me too. It was like a 5 star treatment. I could order any food I like from the menu, 3 meals a day not including morning and afternoon tea. There were classes such as breastfeeding class, how to settle baby class, how to bath baby class and etc. It was simply awesome.

I had the baby all to myself and I was fully attending to the baby with so much help and advise from midwives. Mum and hubby came to visit me everyday. I couldn't rest as much as I'd like to, but I was prepared for that. It was one of the best time of my life with a new life. After 4 nights at the hospital, I finally came home. I missed the hospital stay so much that I thought to myself, I would go through pregnancy and delivery all over again just to stay in the hospital again. At the same time, I was excited to bring Ariel back to her new home..